Almost Day

     Okay, so this is something I've been working on for quite a while. "Almost Day" is the musical I've been writing. And I'm determined to actually make it into something worthwhile.

     What is it that makes all of us want to leave some kind of mark in this world? Is it just our constant need to be noticed? Or maybe it's just that we don't want to be forgotten. Maybe it's because we want to have physical evidence that our lives have purpose. Either way, I'm right in there with everyone else. I want there to be something to remember me by. Something I'm passionate about. And that something, I want to be this musical.

     It's a love story. Surprise. Two kids who have grown up together their entire lives as best friends. Dianne and Sam both love astronomy and look at the stars every night. It's the summer before their Senior year in this small seaside town. One night, Dianne finds out that she'll be moving away. She's afraid to tell Sam, because secretly, she loves him. And it turns out, he secretly loves her too. Well, the summer goes on, and it's the night before she has to leave...and she finally tells Sam what's happening. It's devastating. But at the county fair that night, they both decide to tell the other that they love the other. (How sweet. Awwwwwe.) Anyway, it's also got a magical man, moonsand, cool music...I just need to make it all professional.

     So that's what I'm doing. And with some help from my new friend, Jake, I'll be editing the script. I'm going to rearrange and even rewrite some of the songs. It'll be a long process, but I really hope it's worth it.

     I'm always up for support and ideas. So if you're ever at all interested in helping, just let me know. (Maybe I'll even rename a character after you!)

Anyway, a quick update on my life:

     Work- It's just the same as ever. Nothing special.

     Insitute- I actually made it to class on Thursday morning! And I have to say...I really should make it to every class. It's what I need in my life right now.

     Choir- We sang at a retirement home. That was...interesting. And then we went to the corn maze. It was okay.

     Halloween- Well, I was Peeta again this year. It's just an easy costume and I like it. I went to a friend's party with my friend Susannah. It was lots of fun watching Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare Before Christmas, but it got kinda awkward when someone I used to like a lot was there...all cuddled up and...ugh, whatever. Anyway, Halloween was okay.

     Friends- I've been lucky enough to make a connection through Suzie and Callie to a new friend in Ohio. We've been texting and getting to know each other. He's awesome. His name is Jake and it's kind of like we've always known each other. It's just nice to have someone that understands me to talk to. I'm thankful for him.

     Faith- Honestly, I don't know.

     Life is okay right now.

A Friend to the End

     I have a lot of friends. I'm not bragging or anything, just stating the facts. I always do my best to smile, have fun conversations and make others feel good. So generally, I've made a lot of friends. Most of these friends have been from school and church. Now I'm getting to the point where I'm making friends from Institute and work as well. As time goes on, certain friends take up a larger part of your life. Sometimes, it seems like every single friend wants to spend time with you. And of course, that means just the opposite can happen as well.

     Right now, it seems like nobody wants to spend time with me. Now, I know that isn't true. Everybody is busy though. Most of my best friends aren't even in Boise anymore. They're off at college, foreign exchange, on missions, off to better things. So that makes me feel as if I can't do anything.

     I've been working, though, so that's always helpful. When I keep busy, I can distract myself. It's just all of the hours I sit at home doing chores over and over again, writing, watching movies...it all seems so pointless. Like I should be spending my time with other people instead of by myself.

     When I see people that have those really close lifelong friends, I'm so jealous. It feels stupid to say, but it's incredibly true. I've always wanted a good friend that I spend most of my time with just because we love to have a great time together.

     Kind of a change of subject, but it goes along with it. I've considered searching for a councilor. Any kind of councilor. Somebody to just help me out. I'm definitely not in the healthiest state of mind. And I think a lot of this is because I spend so much time alone, and I screw with my head by overthinking everything. And I honestly can't help it.

     I'm going to separate this into another post. The next one will explain my INFJ personality type.

Faith in the Faults

     Nothing is perfect. But isn't that wonderful? Think about it, some of the most beautiful things in life come from mistakes or impurities. See this?

     That is an impurity. And how beautiful is that? So where am I going with all of this? Simple. I'm not perfect, and I screw up a lot. (I'm sure we all do.) But sometimes, from those mistakes, we learn the greatest lessons. We realize the most important things we need to know. We open up to new ideas. We humble ourselves to be better.

     All I want you, as a reader, to know, is that when you make a mistake, look on the positive side of things. There is a way to get out of what you've gotten into. I can assure you, from experience, that it is true. Just remember to believe in yourself and don't be stubborn. Let others assist and carry you along. I know it's hard, but I've had to do it many times.

     Let me give you an example:

     Within a week of me finding out that I wouldn't be serving a mission, I had told quite a few people. One of those people was my good friend Ryan. When I told him, I was in the mindset that I was just kind of done with. I didn't know where I was going in life. All in all, I was being incredibly stubborn. It's stupid, I know. 

     What I learned at that lunch with Ryan, is that I needed to take some time and realize that I can't expect myself to do everything. He offered so much for me. And that's when I decided that I could ask others for help and support. But just let me say, that is so hard. We don't want to look weak. I surely didn't want to ask my friends to spend time with me only for the reason that I wouldn't end up depressed alone in my room. But once I humbled myself, my life got so much easier. 

     So friends, be humble. Have faith in your faults. It's okay to screw up. If it weren't, what would the point of Christ be? (if you're religious) And come on, either way, what do you really think friends are for? They're there to help you. If I've learned anything from this entire experience, BOOM that's it. 

     It's late. I need sleep. I hope you learned something. Sweet dreams (be it dreams in the night or daydreams).